From the Frying Pan into the Fire (The Project Saga - VI)

Well for most of you who are reading my blog might know that my life is going real smooth, with almost no problems...And even better I had a real good transition when I jumped from the Frying Pan into the Fire...

After getting fired from the Development Project I was in, I was put up in a Support Project. I was asked to go to Kolkata for training, well unfortunately my health doesn't permit me to do so, since a slight change in weather conditions could trigger off an asthma attack, for which I am still under medication.

So they released from the project and put me in the glorious bench of CTS, they call it the "Resource Pool" here, funny names they got for bench in various companies, wish they had a "Swimming Pool" instead, could have at least tried to learn Swimming :-P.

Anyways after about 2 weeks of basically doing nothing, I was called by the PM and asked me me what I was doing

PM: Hey, What are you doing?

Me: Nothing...

PM: You were put in Factiva right.

Me: Yes

PM: And you refused to go to Kolkata

Me: Yes, I am an asthma patient and dust and sudden weather changes trigger Asthma and it could turn out that I would have caused a delay in the training process. So that is why I declined.

PM: OK, So what were you trained in?

Me: I was trained in .Net Technologies, I am ready to do anything in that, if you give me any new technologies I need time to learn the technology and after that I will be ready.

PM: OK, So tell me, How can I help you?

Me: Help...What do you mean by help?

PM: What can I do from my side?

Me: Well I am trained in .Net and I will be happy with any project you give me and I will comply to standards set by Cognizant. As for any other technology I need a little time to prepare myself, after that I can do what you need me to do.

PM: What is you plan / roadmap in the next 2 years?

Me: I stopped making such things long back...

PM: People tell me, that they want to take certifications, become Technical Architects etc What is your plan?

Me: Well I am really not into certifications etc

PM: How can I help you?

Me: You can't help me...

PM: No No...I mean in your professional career

Me: That is What I said, No One can help me...

PM: OK, Are you interested in a C++ Project in Factiva?

Me: I am happy with anything that Cognizant gives me...

PM: OK, this Project is called CIBS, it is the Heart of Factiva's Billing System, It is build on Unix and Technologies will be C / C++ etc

Me: OK, The only thing I need when specifcally is I need emacs when I work in Linux / Unix environment.

PM: I don't know the details of that, I you can find that out yourself when you join the team.

And so I stepped into the fire from the frying pan, and it is one of the easiest thing I have done. The work being mainly in support nature, I have a huge task of studying the system at hand, it is basically tougher than writing a system from scratch since you have to decipher the thoughts of another person to understand the system. And working in a unix environment after long time felt refreshing, but unfortunately I haven't had any encounters with the Informix Database System, the Backbone of CIBS system. Moreover we have have to work in the Client Systems, with means a lot of typing lag and slow responses. I hate that...

I did have a lot of discomfort since I lost admin rights in my system, as the project that I am doing now no longer demands it. But being back in the Black Screen and White letters gives me a bit of happiness. And in between I got my confirmation appraisal that shows no effort put by me in the past 6 months as though I was simply sitting around in Cognizant doing nothing. Just one sentence Completed my confirmation

"Can be confirmed as PA"

"Means Hazardous useless waste Material Handle with care" :))

Of course if you did go through my blog you would have understood I wasn't, so I am not going to complain about anything, I am just going to keep quiet about it, because I got better things to do.

So, with that I entered into the support type project, lets see how far things take me around in this new mis-adventure....

The Last Drink… (The Booze Saga - Part IV)

Events Occurred on March 20th

Yup…I decided to stop drinking (alcohol of course)…Well not for the greater good or because people advised against it but rather a Logical paradox that reached at the end of another drinking spree.

Well let me put up the situation for you…It was a Thursday night and we decided to have a go at Vodka again..this time over at a friend’s house. As usual we all sat around, I started off with a peg of Whiskey and then started Vodka along with my friends, there were about 9 of us if I remember exactly…

In less than an Hour I finished off a pint of Vodka (Apple flavor my favorite :-)), and that was the fastest…I prefer to have just 7 up and Vodka and nothing to taste…My friend was surprised and disappointed that he didn’t get his share of Vodka…So he asked they guys there to buy one more…

After a pint of Vodka, I expected something big…I mean all my friends told me about getting High…but instead of that I got this puking sensation…

And this time the Mind didn’t want to run away like the last time, it was in its room trying to see what is going to happen…

My body on the contrary was very active…It wanted to puke…I took up the challenge, I didn’t, it was a huge tug of war…Gonna Puke, Not Gonna Puke, Gonna Puke, Not Gonna Puke…

Finally I was left with 2 choices either to puke and become normal or to not puke and keep up with the game between Me and Body…I chose the 2nd >:).

I could hear the guys around me forcing me to drink one more, I didn’t want to so I kept quiet and sat and resisted the temptation, My body was pretty much overwhelming, finally the puke was coming up, “NO”I said and I swallowed it back…In the meanwhile my friend called me over the phone the time was 0:15 HRS , I just rejected and put my mobile on the floor, he called again, rejected again, once again he called and once again rejected…That wasn’t the last of puke it happened 3 more times all 3 times successfully resisted…

Then I remember the guys getting hold of me and taking me back to my house (don’t worry I was still on my 2 feet, didn’t go into all 4s), I said “Guys my slippers you forgot them, my mobile..”, no problems we will get those…

They took me back to my room and put me over my bed and by the end of it all I finally won the battle..

I got up the next morning and described this challenge to my friend and He gave me a disappointed look and then said you are wasting money man…You don't know how to drink…Then we both almost simultaneously said…

Friend: Dude you gotta drink and then puke only then you will enjoy drinking..otherwise it is a waste of money.

Me: Dude you gotta drink and then not puke, only then there is a challenge to drinking otherwise it is a waste of money.

OOPs….That is a Classic example of proving A != B, by assuming A == B (Proof by Contradiction) =)), Some of the classical examples in Computer Science like the Halting problem in Turing Machines is proved this way and is one of my favorite way of proving things ;-). I was thinking of it and Laughing of the fact in my mind…

All the guys who heard my story of swallowing the puke felt disgusted and said it was better if you puked (it seems most of them puked and were in fairy land after that)…I said that only by not puking there is a challenge to drinking..Obviously I was wrong as per their standards…

So after thinking about the paradox I created myself and the 14 Missed Calls in the Mobile I thought I should give up drinking…And had my last drink of Vodka on the previous day…
Goodbye Vodka, I will miss you….

Me, ME, mE… (The Booze Saga - Part III)

Events Occurred on March 15

Sipping from a plastic glass, I could taste a lemon flavor at the tip of my tounge and I asked my friends “Hey guys is this Lemon Flavored”, none replied, after a couple of more sips, I realized it is Apple flavored Vodka, local MGM brand of course, the lemon flavor was due to the 7 up on the top…Now I am beginning to enjoy it.

After the first round, I felt wow this thing is real good, gotta have more, then it was the second round, a little less 7 up a little more Vodka…then the 3rd, when it was the 4th OOPS…ran out of 7 up…”How about a dry?” a friend asked, I was a bit hesitant, then I noticed a bottle of “Dashamulaaristam” (Ayurvedic Medicine, which is basically used a generic ailment for indigestion etc…) , was poured to dilute the vodka, Gulped it in one shot…WOW!!! now thats the stuff…

It was then the other two inside me began to quarrel…the Mind, the Body and of course there is Me

Mind: WOW, Now that was real good never have tasted that before, gotta ask him for some more…

Body: No, No…One more and I will make him puke, No way you gonna do it…

Mind: I don’t care Let me ask him…

I looked around for the Vodka bottle, Damn it’s empty, finished….Not a drop to drink

Body: Finally…When will he stop abusing me like this…

Mind: I am on a High…Woo Hoo!!!!

Body: Hey Shut up, up there , Hello…Are you still alive or blacked out?

Me: Nop..still around I guess…

Body: Your stupid mind is on a high and is gonna dance around.

Meanwhile I was laughing to jokes told by me…

Me: Hey you Mind, didn’t I tell you not to wander away, when I am taking a break.

Mind (Not caring) : Gotta do something, I am free, La La La La……I am going for a dance around the park, turn on the Imagination boys and shut down the senses, today is party day….

Me: HEY HEY…..Hold your bloody horses…Who gave you the permission to conduct your own parties?

Body: See I told you he won’t listen to you nor me, and you won’t listen to me…

I was trying to get up and get my balancing act to get to my room, my Mind was trying to make me dance around…

Me: STOP IT!! STOP IT!!, I am going to teach you some discipline

I was chasing my mind who was slipping away from me as time passed. Running through narrow alleys and dark corners and finally jumped and fell over it and caught it with my both hands and was taking it back to Mind’s Home.

Mind (Crying) : No…No…Leave me I want to go, Please let me go, I want to play more, you never let me play alone, it is always you watching over what I do? Why can’t you let me go at least once. I am no longer a child you know…

Me: No longer a Child you say…No Longer a Child, Ha, Ha, Ha…(Me going to fits of laughter.)

Mind: Hey Whats so funny? I want my rights, I am an adult.

Me: You don’t know what it means to be an adult and you don’t have any control over the things you make Body do.

Body: Yup, Teach him something, that useless piece of, good for nothing…

Me: Hey who is talking to you…

Body: Sorry…Was just supporting you.

Me: I will ask for support when I need it, for the time being, do you mind find a way to my room and then to my bed.

Mind: Ha Ha…Ha, Body is getting scolded….

Me: Who asked you to talk?

Mind: Nobody

Me: Then Shut up…

I somehow managed to open the door get out, closed it, opened my room’s door, closed it. Finally got into the bed room and fell on the bed.

Me: Haven’t I told you not to wander about when I am taking a break. Don’t do it again. You can wander all you want when Body and Me take rest.

Mind: Sorry…But I was getting on a High, I couldn’t control myself

Body: See he is bloody irresponsible…He don’t know the meaning of life….

Me: Hey Didn’t I ask you to keep quiet sometime back.

Body: Sorry….

Me: OK, back you go into the room, you can play with whatever you want to in there and control the whole brain from there, but under my supervision

Mind (with a very sad look): OK, But this is not gonna stop me from trying to escape again…

Me: In you go…

After locking the room and putting the key safely Me was gonna rest just when the Body nudged me…

Body: Why do you abuse me like this?

Me: What?

Mind: Yeah! Right, Like you didn’t hear that.

Me: Grr…

Body: Why do….

Me: Yeah I heard that, Don’t know, may be because of my state, our state, I don’t have anything to look for…look after…So why not enjoy the rest of my iterative days.

Body: Why are you always like this? You know I am growing old with every passing day, with this treatment, I won’t last long.

Me: What is the use there is nothing more to gain…

Mind: Yea, listen to Me you stupid, Me knows everything.

Body: Look even your mind is not respecting me.

Me: Well he is right.

Body: May be it is time you needed a female touch, that is what is missing!!!

Me: I thought we already settled that issue long back about 6 years ago, Why do you dig up the dead?

Body: You need some realization of hope in your life, that is why

Me: I thought we had a pact to not discuss this.

Mind: Hmm…I usually have conflicting decisions with Body…This is one place I agree though….

Me: I definitely know your ulterior motives, you cunning mind, it is the way you are gonna get to be free. You never agree with the body unless you see something in it for you.

Mind: But at least it will be for the greater good.

Body: Listen to your mind…

Me: Yo Mind let us Discuss the General Theory of Relativity….

Body: DON’T DEVIATE FROM THE TOPIC!!!

Me: How about the Special Theory…

Body: You and your bloody theories…Why do you need to justify your actions.

Me: Because the Mind is too stupid to understand Why it needs to do one thing!!!

Mind: Who me…

Me: I told you…Lets rest body and close this topic

Body: As you wish…

I could hear from a long distance…the beeping, sharp tone of high pitch, it became more clear…I opened my eyes, OOOH…my head pounding, damn its the Alarm in the mobile, damn it is time to get up.

Recurring Nightmares

I am running towards the exam hall, panting with a heavy shoulder bag on my right shoulder and pieces of paper, (I don’t know of which subject ) in my other hand, with some of them falling from my hand.

After climbing some stairs and running through long halls I finally reached the examination hall. Late….Again….the exam has already begun, and I am not even ready yet. I put the bag down and stuffed the papers inside, took out of pen, pencil..etc. Then there is that annoyed look on the face of the examiner, which one has to face after which I hurriedly ran in to catch my seat…finally after settling down and preparing the answer sheet, I took my first look into the question paper, which obviously didn’t have any questions that I studied for the exam add to this the loss of 45 minutes to the total time of the exam.

I could feel the thumbing of my heart, drops of sweat dripping down the sides of my forehead, the fear of failure once again…The silence around me was deafening, I could no longer take it and then I see the room I am sitting in and then the whole building…

It is results time and I have the same feeling all over again…I know I am going to fail for sure…I don’t know how I will break the news to my parents…And then I get the paper only to see that I am right about failing in it.

I woke up from my sleep, my heart still thumping and all sweaty, franticly trying to make sense of reality, what I will tell to my parents about that exam??!…It was such a critical exam…What do I do now…Only to realize it was a dream…rather a nightmare that too a recurring one.

Still not able to make myself believe, I searched form my mobile in the pitch black darkness, only to get hold of my friends face (I am glad that I didn’t wake him up). I didn’t give up I knew it was near a bit more to the left and up and I finally got hold of it, and checked the time. It was 12 March, Monday Morning 4.15, I felt relieved that all of that wasn’t real.

I felt really thirsty after that partly due to the nightmare and partly due to the Vodka drinking the previous night, With a heavy head and an unsteady balance I some how managed to get to the Kitchen and have some water and got back to my bed.

I lay on my back looking up into the darkness and thinking, Why??? I mean Why again??? I thought my schooling and college days were over and this “Recurring Nightmare” would go away…Funny thing is this time there was no Subject…I mean in all my previous experiences, it was usually the exam for the Subject that I performed the worst, most of my schooling days was filled with Mathematics and Physics. In college it was one for each semester. But this time it was different, no subject, could it signify my life, Did I fail the examination of my life? or just because my memory was being defragmented in my sleep and the process just triggered this Dream, I don’t know, but the feeling isn’t good…could also signify of things that are yet to come. Just got to wait and see…