A Farewell From Chennai

Well I guess I have been writing a lot of negative posts recently, so let me write a positive one before I leave Chennai for the time being.

My colleagues dropped by my house today :), it was pretty unexpected there was a whole bunch of them. They all wanted a farewell get together. I was reluctant initially due to the fact that I was down with asthma and a bit of chest congestion. Then I thought "what the hell?" I can always cure my sickness but not meet these friends of mine everyday :). We all decided to go to Ascendas and get KFC.

After the eating fest and a lot of Sreeni and Latheesh jokes, they presented me with a farewell gift and a card.

The Greeting Card	Inside Page...
The Backside...	Ship in a Bottle :D

I still wonder how they managed to put the ship in there :P

In the card I found some very interested farewell wishes, I liked ones from my team mates Revathy, Deepak, Safer. Some humorous one by the Matrix and SOP team. Some of the good memories from my days in Cognizant.

After a long chat till 23:30, we all bid farewell to one another and promised to keep in touch. It felt good to be with the old team once again. The jokes, the laughter, fun, humor these are things that I will always remember which I think of a team.

After coming home my roomies presented me with the most unusual farewell gift ever. A T-Shirt with the Fox-Hound Logo :) Take a look at those pictures.

The Fox-Hound Logo	Look what is written there
The front side	A close up :)

It seems that my friends did go through quite a bit of trouble to get the logo done on a T-Shirt. I always wanted to get a T with a Fox Hound Logo never found it though. I do not know how they did it but they finally managed to find a place there you can get these things printed on to a T-Shirt. I understood that they also were caught by the police when coming back after getting the T-Shirt. I do not know how many people would go through all that trouble for me. I truly have no words to thank their effort. Read all about their misadventures here.

Once again thank you guys for all the efforts you have put into this :).

Rajesh M.S had a chat with me too :), it felt good talking to him after a long long time, he wished me good luck and did say one thing "There is never such a thing as an over qualified professional, so go and study that is what you should do." Pretty inspirational I did say.

Let me end this post with The quote in the T-Shirt "A Strong Man Does Not Need To Read The Future...He Makes His Own", this is said to Psycho Mantis (Master of Telepathy and Telekinesis) after Solid Snake Defeats him in the battle. Mantis can read Snake's mind and knows his weaknesses, even though Mantis has the edge in the battle Snake over comes the odds and in a twist of fate defeats the "all knowing Mantis." Even though Mantis could read the future he fails to defeat Snake and is surprised by the outcome and tells Snake this outcome was impossible. And that is when Snake makes this statement.

May be it is time for me to create my future rather than letting the stars dictate mine.

List of People To Bitch Slap

Well I met a lot of people in my short stay in Chennai, some of them were nice people and memorable ones, the rest are what I term as people to be bitch slapped.

First let me define Bitch Slap and no it is not about slapping a bitch

Bitch Slap (noun) /bɪtʃ slæp/ - (slang, vulgar) An open-handed slap to the face; see usage notes below.

Usage notes

The term has different connotations for different speakers; it is often used to refer to an especially strong slap, but some speakers consider bitch slap to refer only to a weak slap (expressing mild contempt, as though the person being slapped is too weak to be given a strong slap). This would distinguish it from the stronger pimp slap.

This blog entry is going to contain names, I do not care about the consequences but I should voice what the public believes here.

**EDIT**

Due to advice given to me by my close friends for my own good, I decided to remove the name temporarily until they die (which I hope will be pretty soon). For people who are interested they can contact me on how to reveal all the names.

**EDIT**

**EDIT**

Ahh Fuck it, If I get fucked up in life because I prepared a list of real life assholes to avoid then so be it!!!

**EDIT**

Name Of Person	How this person came to my life!!!	Why should this person be Bitch Slapped?
Shelladurai Pasupathi	This asshole was the head of the Cognizant Academy, he believes himself to be god there.	Well one for the ego, he thinks he knows too much english and plays with other people's life. Calls himself Shella, well I think he should call himself Pasu.
John Allen Dickson	This guy is another who had too much ego, again in the Academy he was a trainer, a typical "Dick"son	Now this guy made one statement that cannot be forgiven, he said "Malayalam is the Language that hinders the study of English" and this guy is a Malayali. All the more reason to do bitch slapping. He claims his English is good because back in school he talked a lot of Dirty English. Well "Dick"son go Fuck yourself, is that dirty enough?
Suresh Ramamoorthy (I think this was the name)	Again heard a lecture from him back in the Academy, he was speaking on Ethics there.	Well let me ask you something you motherfucker, is there any ethics at all in this fucking IT industry. I frankly think you are being paid to lie now do you think your action is ethical at all? And do not bullshit me on saying that "We at Cognizant only follow ethical practices", do you know when you gave the lecture "that we do not use pirated software" there was a machine in the Academy Library "that had the microsoft warning that it was a pirated copy"
Sunder Soundararajan	My first team lead	I feel sorry for this guy, he knows nothing and panics too much, I would like to slap him from time to time when he panics. But I forgive this guy.
Latheesh Vasudevan Nair	My former Manager	Well he thinks he owns this world, everything in the world happens because he said so. Now a bitch slap should bring him back to reality. He should realize that he is not the reason things are running fine and sometimes he acts as a total fool. Self awareness can still save what is remaining of your soul.
Anand Muralidharan	My former Sr.Manager	Well the only thing he owns is his elegant representation, the rest is bullshit. He thinks he is the Omega supreme of the account. But a proper Bitch Slap can turn things around and show that it is the "Alpha of his Omega." Most of us have seen an artist making sculpture from a piece of wood and then there are others who are good at working with wood but can only replicate the artist. He is the latter. And a big time liar too.
Sarabu Sreenivasarao	My former Manager	I run out of words when I want to say why I want to bitch slap this fellow. One is a complete asshole. Doesn't read emails and keeps asking status all day long. Lies and does not trust his own team to do a job. Screws with other's lives. And has this aura that causes others to be irritated by the mere presence in that area. Prefixes Dear to salutations of all mails making it sound gay, there are rumors that he did even reply to an automated mail response. Calls for Quick Meeting that last over 2 hours. And is a complete idiot in technical and managerial skills. The only thing I wonder is why isn't he fired yet? May be I should bitch slap the person who hired him

This list is by no means an exhaustive one.

Disclaimer: All names used in this list are purely fictional any resemblance to real life is purely coincidental and an ironic twist of fate. The author of this post does not claim any knowledge of names (individuals or entities) mentioned and was written for the sake of deriving sadistic pleasure of writing nonsense about things that never existed.

Ghost of the Future

I met someone, a colleague to be more specific. It is not that I have not known him before. He was a new guy into my team, my former team to be exact. Well they always wanted replacements since I was also quitting.

This guy's behavior always puzzled me, very quiet, man of few words, technically good. And in my initial chat with I even understood that he was coming from a product based company. It always did puzzle me why did a person jump from product to services? Especially if the guy is talented. Money is definitely a motive, but he did not seem that type.

It was not until the last day I got to know him better. I wrote my last official blog entry in the company blog titled "A Late Goodbye" and this guy also happened to read my blog entry. And he kept on reading about the other blog entries too. And then he came across this particular blog entry a vain attempt at writing a lame story, now the funny thing is it was a fantasy story, and since warcraft is one of my favorite strategy games, I chose to put my fantasy character's classes from there.

And guess what this guy was a warcraft fan too, and then we started talking games, FPS, UT, CS, Warcraft, AoE etc and what not. We both were surprised and I myself haven't met a gamer a true hardcore gamer in my company. This was like a pleasant surprise in the most unpleasant of times. He called me out to a coffee, this was not the 1st time he had done that, and I haven't denied once as he is a nice guy.

This is when he actually discussed about the reality of things. There were more things than that meets the eye. It seems that he was highly unsatisfied by the job in his former company. Issues with management, but one thing that he did say was all problems were due to the errors in the system that could have been corrected. He said he was one of the important persons who was involved in this specific section and suggested permanent fixes to these recurring problems only to fall on deaf ears. And the patterns kept repeating and after 2.5+ years he decided to quit due to these mounting pressures.

He told me that was a big mistake and he realized it later on. His initial plans were to do higher studies. But then he realized it was a bit too late to do so. He did write GRE but did not make it. He said that was not the worst part, after a week without job he felt sick of it. And this thing went on for about 9 months without a job. He said that he tried for various other product companies all of them rejected on the basis that he did not have a job at hand at the time of application. This went on till he applied for Cognizant, and the irony of the fact is He was interviewed by my asshole manager. And he said he felt relieved that he had a job once again even though there was no raise in pay from the previous company.

I asked him why did you not tell this to me earlier and he said the this talk was between two gamers. For a moment as a gamer I no longer felt like an outcast in Cognizant.

I asked him whether he did like this job and there is no reason that he has to work in a caustic environment like this. He did say that he did not like the job but then there is not other choice.
I said "There is always a choice", sometimes the choices in our life may not be visible to us, but there is definitely a choice. This is why I choose to quit, I know I can have safe life in this industry. I have the knowledge and skills, I will eventually get promoted and even might go to onsite. But this is not what I want, I said, I would like to pursue my passions and my passion lies in system programming. Quitting at this point without a job or a guarantee for higher studies is the riskiest think that I have done with respect to any decision taken in my life. Do you know that in my 1.5 years of tenure in this company I have just done programming for 4 weeks?, do you know how that feels like for a person like me who craves to program?

Now I am not the best programmer in town or world, but I like to do what I like to do. And I asked him the same question and he said that there was not one day that he can remember in the previous company where he did not touch the code. I said "Exactly!!!, all we do here is bullshit work in Excel and Word! and to say that I took a degree in Engineering to do this shit job", And then I told him "you should do the same, pursue your passions, we will have obstacles in life but that should stop you from pursuing it." His face turned gloomy, he said that he tried and it did not work and that is why he has ended up in this job.

He asked me "what makes you think that you will not end up like me?", I thought about it for a while and I said "I believe that this is not the job for me, I will support what I believe and I will defend it with all my might if someone wants to prove it otherwise." He said "What makes you think I was any different from you? I did the same but I was unsuccessful", I said "I like to pursue my passion, and I will not let anything stand in my path, I am like a juggernaut and will destroy anything that stands in my way, I will not give up even if I fail over and over again"

He did not answer to that, but he did wish me good luck in pursing whatever I wanted to.

He reminded me what I might become in the next 9 months time if I fail to achieve my goal, a "ghost of my future", will I end up like the ghost or is it a mere illusion of my thoughts, but the ghost is definitely there to haunt me for the next 9 months.

The Final Day

16th May 2008, It was another sloppy morning, just like the usual office days. The only difference being this will be my last. I was supposed to collect all the relieving letters from the HR Personal.

It was in a place that I had never been to before, I decided to take the public transportation like a bus rather than an Auto. I usually take auto because of the lack of experience in traveling around in a bus, and they drop you off in the right spot. On the down side, they are expensive and you need to negotiate the price before you get on an Auto, and I am very bad at negotiating.

Sometimes you need to take that extra step forward to overcome the fear and that is what I decided to do. I looked up the place in google maps, kind of memorized the possible path I should take to the place. Discussed with my friends on how to take the approach to reach my destination.

The weather in Chennai is pretty bitching hot these days, you can loose a liter of Water from your body just by standing out in the sun. I walked to the Thiruvanmiyur Signal and took a share auto to Bus Depot, the ride was short. Once I reached the depot my search for the right bus started. Unfortunately I could not find the right bus to Whites Road, I was standing in the shades but the heat showed no mercy. It was during this wait I saw this girl who also approached there, She was wearing a jeans and T-Shirt and Reebok Shoes with Pink Stripes. Now the reason why she caught my attention was she covered her whole head including face excluding the eyes with a scarf to prevent the dust from hitting her. And she caught T51 Bus, that goes to Shollinganallur, So I was guessing that she would be going to Navalur the place where my office was situated.

In the mean while I saw a bus that could supposedly take me to my destination, I got on the bus and asked the conductor about the stop. He said the route wont cover my destination. Just when I was about to get down a kind passenger said to me I can take the Ticket to Royapettah which is like 800 to 1000 meters away from my target. I said why not took a ticket and sat down in the bus.

The ride was pretty much a comfortable one, I was keeping track of the boards and road signs to see if I reached my destination. I was kind of dozing off in between too. I managed to get down in the stop just in time actually, I just followed the passenger who advised me to take the ticket :).

After a little bit of inquiring around, I was given directions to reach the place. It was a 15 minute walk in the Hot Sun. At the end of which I reached the office. And I looked which floors were occupied by Cognizant, and there were 3 floors (1st, 2nd and 3rd). Then I asked the watchman there which floor should I go. He showed to me it was the 2nd floor, probably he knew that I was here to collect the relieving letters, because of the large envelopes I was holding in my hand.

After some uneventful stair climbing, I finally came to the office front, and then I was redirected to the HR Department. I call them glorified shrinks, it kind of fits the job description. Then there was this corridor that separated the HR from the normal Work bays. I met my HR representative and she asked me to take a short break as she did not want people crowding in the bay. It was a small bay with respect to the others. And I noticed I was not the only one to be there to collect my papers.

I counted about 8 persons at least who was going through the same procedure. I will never know the reasons why they quit. But the numbers were pretty high, it gave me a complete picture as to why they were hiring like mad people. Finally after the short break, which consisted of drinking 3 glasses of water to rehydrate myself. I went back in and I submitted all the required approvals. I was provided with my service letters and I was told I could leave. This is when I saw the girl from the bus stop also had come here, probably to collect the final relieving letters, it was the pink Stripes in the Reebok that gave her out. It reminded me how small the world was :).

When I got out of the building I felt free, I could not longer feel the torture of the Chennai Heat. I am free from CIBS the application I handled. I walked in the sun to Mount Road where I caught a bus back to Thiruvanmiyur. For the first time in my life I enjoyed the Chennai heat, the hot air passing over my skin the dry wind going over my hair. I felt different.

I had sambar rice as my lunch from a hotel near the bus stop and I came back home lied on the bed reading the story "Dabchick By Haruki Murakami"

A Late Goodbye

From Office Blog, May 16th 2008

It has been long time since the last post. And it is certain that this will be my last post.

My last day in cognizant is on 16th May and I decided to write this Goodbye post.

I may not have been a social blogger all along. But I have written my fair share of blogs. With the suffering of the work overload in my last project I was unable to even open up the cognizant blog for writing my heart out. After my resignation too I was never relieved from my responsibilities. With idiots for managers right from APMs to SPM, I found it useless arguing for a proper justification of my improper appraisal.

The HR was pretty helpless in this matter, they are more or less glorified shrinks according to me, So I did not expect a lot from them either. It made me realize that in my tenure of 20 Months I have just done 4 weeks of programming and the rest of the time I spend working in excel, word, status calls and drinking coffee, I did not need an Engineering degree to this, Any 12th standard passout can do my job.

What Am I? Why Did I take a course in Computer Science and Engineering? To do excel and word for the rest of my natural life? This motivated me to quit this industry for better or for worse. I do not care if I end up jobless for the rest of life, but I wont work in another company in IT Industry again, it is an insult to a computer science graduate like me.

I may go back to what really interested me in Computer Science all these days Systems Programming, that is where my heart lies and I am going to follow my heart no matter what the consequence or obstacles that stand in my path, Beware!!! there is a juggernaut coming through.

The team I worked with in my project is what motivated me to stay and work even in such arid work environment, without that team I am nothing, they imparted in me a reason to come to office and sit and work. The team has broken down and is a mere shell of its former shelf but the spirit of the team was never lost.

I will definitely miss the team that made me what I am today. I made some good friends while I was at Cognizant too, I hope I Can keep in touch with them after I leave from here.

I can still remember that I wrote in Roy's Blog, that we are all dogs of wars in this industry mercenaries hired to do the dirty work, treated with no respect or honor. After the job was done I was betrayed and back stabbed. In this war I always chose the side of my team, I have fought for injustice done to my team and myself and for this they label be as a non dependable and untrustworthy person. Such wretched behavior was least expected from the persons whose mess I had to clean up sitting in night shifts.

There is no such thing as a "sin" in this industry, climb the ladder ruthlessly eliminating anything that stands in your path. If you cant do that eliminate yourself from the climb. This is what I am doing ending my climb not because I cannot eliminate people, but I have better things to do in my life.

Some bloodlines must come to an end.